


On Top of The Christmas Tree

by FatyGSquare



Category: Figure Skating RPF
Genre: Feelings Realization, Getting Together, M/M, SecretSantaFS
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-23
Updated: 2019-12-23
Packaged: 2021-02-26 02:00:33
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,556
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21875557
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/FatyGSquare/pseuds/FatyGSquare
Summary: It is one night out.One walk down memory lane.One night for a beginning.And a golden star on top of the Christmas tree.
Relationships: Javier Fernández/Yuzuru Hanyu
Comments: 7
Kudos: 59
Collections: Secret Santa's Kiss & Cry 2019





	On Top of The Christmas Tree

**Author's Note:**

  * For [eternalmurasaki](https://archiveofourown.org/users/eternalmurasaki/gifts).



> I hope you have a wonderful wonderful Christmas! And enjoy this little thing!

It is not something he is used to, not something he would usually do. But the occasion is too special to pass. So Yuzuru had agreed to go out and have a drink with them, and he is happy he did.

He is surrounded by people he sees everyday, but it feels like he is meeting them for the very first time. Evgenia is downing her second glass of pinkish cocktail, Jun is talking - or rather screaming- with her, soda in his hand as they laugh. Jason is on the dance floor, moving way too gracefully considering the amount of alcohol he has already consumed and putting the mass of people around him to shame.

And then there is the reason Yuzuru came in the first place.

Javier.

_ It had been so hard and disarming, that first day of training after his injury. He had woken up around the same time he always does, had the same breakfast he has all season round, greeting his mother the same way, taking the same train then the same bus to the club, bowing his head to the same receptionist, walking absentmindedly down the same corridor to the same locker room, opening the same door and seeing the locker next to his empty. _

_ Door ajar, cleared of all the stickers he had collected over the years. No extra pants or shirts, no shower gel or deodorant, no socks or bag of snacks; no sports newspapers neatly folded waiting to be read later. Yuzuru had felt almost nauseous, his stomach flipping unpleasantly, as sudden void and uneasiness filling his core. _

_ He swallowed the lump in his throat and shook his head, breathing deeply and his way into the rink. There were new faces around, namely Evgenia Medvedeva and Jason Brown. He knew both of them, of course and they were nice enough, but he didn’t want to socialize right now. _

_ Brian seemed to notice and instructed him to go towards Gishlain, who explained the detail plan they had for sessions, the jumps they were going through. He nodded, forcing his attention and focus on every word his coaches said. _

_ He started drilling jumps, trying to keep his mind from wandering too far, and promptly smashed against the boards after attempting a quad Salchow. He groaned, more out of frustration than anything else. The damned jump had been eluding him since Javi left…  _

_ He closed his eyes, trying to regain his senses. He was slipping out of his iron-willed focus and into a place he didn’t want to revisit. _

_ After Javier came to train for Europeans and left again, there had been an uneasy feeling grown inside of him. He knew where it was coming from, and also knew what it was. But just like he had done since the beginning, he ignored it. He forcefully pushed it to the back of his mind and concentrated on the competition ahead. Javier had finished an amazing career on top, now it was his turn to get back there. _

_ Except he couldn’t. That damned Salchow, that blasted jump. He wanted nothing more than to hide and cry and scream and bang his head against the wall because, fuck Javi. He had taken all the Salchow powers with him. He laughed mirthlessly, sagging against the bed. His phone beeped twice and he checked it absentmindedly and a little angry. _

_ Check the TV. _

_ Huh. His mother knew better than to bother him when he was in one of his moods. He huffed, a report of how he had not won the gold was the last thing he needed. He obeyed anyway, if only because his mother had a way of knowing if he had listened or not; and the most perfect disapproving expression to go with it. _

_ His eyes filled with tears when he turned it on and there he was, looking so handsome in that suit and commenting the championship. He was talking about him and it was suddenly too much and not enough at all. Yuzuru wanted - needed- to call him, tell him he missed him and wanted to see him again. But the self-imposed silence kept him from taking his phone and doing just that. They hadn’t kept in touch, and all Yuzuru really knew of what was going on with Javier came from what he saw in social media. _

_ His silver at ·Worlds didn’t help, his damned ankle all tattered and taped together didn’t help. Javi staying in Japan for Stars on Ice didn’t help. _

_ Seeing him, hearing him at Fantasy on Ice didn’t help, and it was a new kind of torture for him. Everything seemed to have changed. Where there were hugs, there was now emptiness. Where there was laughing, it was now completely silent. Forced conversations, forced acknowledgement of each other. It wasn’t the same, and it stabbed Yuzuru. _

_ So he had sought comfort on random people on the tour, meaningless and fleeting surges of pleasure that tricked his mind but not his heart. _

_ The look of shock and disbelief on Javier’s face when he caught Yuzuru with one of his new conquest was priceless. _

_ September rolled around, and Yuzuru had found a way to use his emotions to fuel his training. He had been consistent in getting all his jumps back, including the Lutz. He felt more ready to compete than he had in a while. And though he still, paused underneath the Spanish flag every now and then, it didn’t hurt as much as before. _

_ Javier showing up for Autumn Classics had been a surprise, and he welcomed his hug like a starved man welcomes a feast. Then the damned Salchow, again, but this time he did text Javi. His reply had been a line of laughing emojis and a ‘vamos’ that had Yuzuru blushing to the tip of his ears. _

_ After the very disappointing Grand Prix Final and his comeback to the Japanese Nationals, Yuzuru found a fire and hunger for gold he hadn’t felt since Pyeongchang, and his mind once again wandered to the viral images of himself crying in Javi’s arms, full of emotions. _

Then the arms became real because Javi was there, fresh out of his tour with Revolution on Ice, and back in Canada to gain training experience with Brian and Tracy. And Yuzuru felt a few years younger when Javier hugged him, uninhibited, arms tight around his waist and surrounded by Javi’s cologne and shampoo and just Javi.

So when he had suggested everyone go out to celebrate the new year and catch up, Yuzuru had agreed, much to everyone’s surprise.

This is how he found himself with a glass of the same pinkish cocktail Evgenia was drinking, sweet with a citrus taste afterwards. It is good, so good Yuzuru is on his third glass and he hasn’t felt like this since after Sochi, when he was so confident in everything he thought he could handle his alcohol as well. He can’t and he knows it, but who cares?

They are all having a great time and he agrees to join Javier and Jason in the dance floor, some song in Spanish Javi seems to like blasting through the speakers and he lets his body sway left to right, back and forth to the rhythm.

He is a giggly, sweating mess when they make their way back to the bar, Jason screaming in his ear and Javi walking a step behind them.

“I didn’t know a human could move them hips like that!” Jason says and starts laughing when Yuzuru giggles. “Teach me your ways, master!”

Yuzuru honks a laugh and chokes on his spit a little, his body sways back and Javi’s hands catch him. He turns to smile at him, silly and drunken and laughs again at Javi’s dumbfounded expression.

“You should stop drinking, Yusu.” Javi says, hands still on his waist and he laughs, covering them with his own. “You’re drunk.”

“Yes!” Yuzuru screams as he takes the shot Jason offers. “Like you in Continues!”

He turns to Javi, and feels emboldened from all the alcohol running through his veins, and he kisses his cheek before following Jason back to the dance floor; leaving behind a gaping Spaniard.

He takes Jason’s hand and they start moving in synch, their bodies following the beat, alluring and sexy. There is a small crowd around them, mostly made of drooling men and women who would love to join. And Yuzuru is high on the attention…

Just before he trips on his own foot and falls flat on his butt. He winces when the impact makes his already bruised thigh throb with pain, and then laughs like a maniac, honking and snorting and just being ridiculous. Two hands grab him under his armpits and help him up, holding him by the shoulders to steady him.

“Come on, we’re going.” Javi says, voice light and he sounds like he is trying not to laugh.

Yuzuru nods slowly, the world suddenly spinning out of control. He feels a little sick, but it’s still so funny to see Javi so worried. He giggles while they wait for their taxi and Javi snorts as he helps him into it.

“I had you for the ‘I’m-gonna-cry-my-heart-out’ kind of drunk.” Javi says, chuckling while Yuzuru lays his head back on the seat and closes his eyes.

The ride back to Javi’s apartment is short, though Yuzuru cannot wait for it to end. He helps him out of the car, into the building and onto the elevator. The place looks cozy, and Yuzuru moans low when he takes off his shoes and he can feel the floor heat.

“Come on, I’ll show the bathroom and then the bed.” Javi says, voice soft and caring and Yuzuru has missed this so much.

He lets Javi guide him to the bedroom and Yuzuru plops down on the bed, sighing in content and then moaning when the world starts spinning again. He opens his eyes, blinks twice and sees Javi turned, looking for something in a cupboard.

“I miss Javi voice.” he slurs. “I miss hugs and tickles.”

Javi stops his rummaging for a few seconds, then starts looking for whatever again. It should be uncomfortable, unnerving, this silence they find themselves in. Instead, Yuzuru relishes in the soft atmosphere surrounding them, so different from the last time they had shared an enclosed space. The locker room back at TCC, he remembers.

“I miss you too.” Javi whispers, turning to hand him a t-shirt and some sweatpants. “More than I expected, actually.”

Yuzuru stands and Javi turns around. He snorts. There isn’t a part of him Javier hasn’t seen naked before, what with sharing the same changing space for seven long years. He discreetly smells the t-shirt, and he knows it’s just his mind, but he swears it smells just like Javi.

He lies on the bed and motions for Javi to join him, and he looks a little reluctant at first, but Yuzuru isn’t giving up. He feels soft and vulnerable and he needs cuddles. And Javi gives the bestest hugs.

They lie in bed, side by side but not touching, wide awake despite the fact that it is almost four in the morning. They need to be at the club tomorrow, but who cares?

“It still empty.” Yuzuru’s whisper breaks the silence. Javi hums questioningly. “Javi locker.”

“It is?” and Javi sounds genuinely surprised. Yuzu understands, Javi’s locker is the closest to the showers and also to the heat. Anyone would want to snatch them for themselves, some had tried. Yuzuru refused.

“It Javi locker.” Yuzuru whispered. “No one else.”

Javi chuckled and turned to face him. He looked so gentle, so caring. Yuzuru leaned closer and he could breathe Javi’s scent.

Lips on lips. Soft and tender. A brief contact that both wanted to stretch into forever.

Hand in hand, fingers playing with the other’s.

Soft whispers of feelings that had been repressed, stomped on, ignored for so long. Stories of unfulfilling relationships turned friendships, of women who could see what a blind man couldn’t.

Stories of ice, and pain, and struggle. A story of an attraction that had gone on for so long, had been silenced and locked away in favor of a gold medal for years.

They talk for hours, the sun rising behind the white curtains and painting Toronto in different shades of orange. Peaceful and calm, that is how sleep comes to them, interrupted by Javi’s phone blaring with the loud techno song he uses as an alarm five hours later.

They both groan and make to get up, only to end up with Yuzuru on top of Javi, kissing him with all he has. Javi’s second alarm rings louder than the first. They part and Yuzuru wants nothing more than to go back to bed because his head is pounding and his stomach is jumping quads in his abdomen. Javi laughs.

“Welcome to the wonderful world of a hangover.” he gets a weak punch to the shoulder in return. “Come on, I have some tea with your name on it and coffee for me.”

Yuzuru nods, and goes to take a shower while javi prepares breakfast for them. It feels surreal, to be this close to him, closer than ever. It is weird, and he feels a little bashful when he puts on Javi’s clothes. He makes his way to the kitchen and stops when he sees the tree, decorated in shades of silver and blue. There is an ornament that makes him huff, and he surprises himself by his reaction. The beautiful Swarovski crystal skate ornament was a present Javier received from Miki when they were together. Yuzuru wants to kick himself when he starts feeling a little jealous over it. He shakes his head, trying to get rid of those thoughts and continues to look through the tree. There are balls with pictures of different cities, tiny glass pendants that shine when the twinkling lights hit them.

Yuzuru smiles, thinking back to the tiny Christmas tree he and his mother keep in their living room because Javi had been appalled that they didn’t have one.

They eat breakfast in silence, and Yuzuru doesn’t hear any of Javi’s protests when he insists on doing the dishes. By the time Javi returns,freshly showered and dressed warmly, Yuzuru is drying the last cup. He gets a kiss to his cheek and then Javi is cursing in Spanish and rushing him out of the door.

They arrive late to the club, hand in hand, hungover and with zero motivation to get on the ice. They would rather talk about everything and nothing, about their feelings, about this unexplored shift in their relationship, what it means and how it works.

But Yuzuru looks up to the giant Christmas tree at the lobby, and how three staff members are starting to take down all the decorations.

He smiles, squeezes Javi’s hand and keeps walking.

Christmas is over, the new year has just started, as has his new future.

Javi and he have all the time to talk.

And as he watches a petite lady take down the big, golden star on top of the tree, he can’t wait to have his own.

With Javi. 

But that is another story, for another Christmas.

Eleven months and counting.

**Author's Note:**

> I really hope you enjoyed it!


End file.
